I’m like a black hole of technological skill. To be honest, I’m not sure that’s even an accurate description. People who understand black holes are not generally the kind of people who are befuddled by multiple hash tags, the concept of google docs, and the like button on Facebook.
Nonetheless, I have a dream of writing, scratch that, I have a compulsion to write. The problem, the main antagonist to my life’s narrative is technology. I wrestle with it daily. Social media gives me sudden onset diarrhea. Facebook gives me high anxiety, and the internet exhausts me. Yet, these are all necessary to get my writing out in the world. It’s so frustrating. I find it akin to cat ownership. I love kitty cats. They balance statuesque majesty with adorable cuteness like a tight rope walker. They are purring snugly little balls of soft fluff. Yet along with all their furry magic is a shit box in your home. The writing is my cat, the technology is the shit box. Unless the cat is dead, I need the box. And I don’t want to author a dead cat.
I’m making peace with the stinky clumps of technology that are yoked to my writing adventure. Sometimes I even find humor and happiness in them. For example, when I check into my blog, inevitably I have spam. I’ve come to appreciate spam in all its absurd glory.
Here’s an example that delighted me beyond what the spammer could ever imagine. “I am impressed, I must say. Actually hardly ever do I encounter a blog that is both educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you may have hit the nail on the head. Your concept is excellent; the issue is one thing that not enough people are speaking intelligently about.” This was the comment on They’re Out There, an unhinged malediction of house dwelling arachnids. I can’t help but wonder what part deserved the “educative” qualifier. Could it be the part where I plead to my readers to be wary of a spider’s cognitive capabilities and even more so a spider’s undying devotion to complete evil? Perhaps it was how to properly dispose of a dead spider given their ability to reanimate like a science fiction villain.
I also love the idea that not enough people are speaking intelligently about this issue. Could you imagine a world where the fear of spiders drove policy making decisions and curtailed daily events? To be honest, my posts are hardly scholarly, unless one was looking to demonstrate the mental health void in our country.
Sometimes spammers appeal to my vanity. On the post The Pet Equation a spammer left a comment with a very serious call to action that “your authority on this subject deserves a wider audience and I can help” Yes, I agree I am an authority on how my mathematics education has led me to an equation about stink and pets. And I’m quite sure this post would find a comfortable place in scholarly discussion, perhaps right next to Newton. The fig, not the man.
So my journey with my nemesis, technology, has forced me to grow, compelled me to learn, proved that I can do some things that I never imagined I could – and made me realize I could be the hero of this narrative. In fact, that sounds like the perfect fodder for a story.